Irma

Call it stress fatigue (I'm thinking non-stop about all you Florida friends), but the weather news is also somehow making me laugh. In case you're not watching, here's what you're missing: BREAKING NEWS! No one's safe, but if you can hear this then "Stay Safe!" You should be gone already but since you're not gone you should just "hunker down" instead, so you can stay safe. If you're not staying safe or hunkering down, don't go to the beach to stand in the receding water like you normally would because after the "business end" of the storm comes through, the storm surge will suddenly come back with snakes and drown you (plus there will be waves on top of the storm surge that drowns you). NOT SAFE. Also, you're not staying safe if you go outside where palm fronds and coconuts everywhere can easily become "missiles" (always pronounced the British way). Even spinning cranes can become "missiles" (cue exclusive-spinning-crane-footage). After hearing from Bobby, Dave, Steve, and Steve, let's now go to our one female on-site reporter who (I'm not kidding about this) "has been getting pounded all morning." Yes, I'm here where the storm was going to be before the spaghetti models changed within the cone of uncertainty. Lots of rain and wind here, but just out of this camera shot it's much much worse... We really haven't seen anything yet. Back to you, Anderson. Thanks. Stay safe! Now, let's check in on current conditions.